Maybe It’s Me…

I know that I have been the complete opposite of a good blogger, I randomly post, mostly when I have had one or two or six too many cocktails….hint: I’m in that latter category tonight.

This has really gotten me thinking. This lack of commitment, of interest, of intimacy, is maybe it’s me. Wait, listen before you say, “oh here he goes with the whiney ‘pity me’ post”.

Back home in Idaho, yes, this would be that post, because, I have always thought that I deserved better. The truth is, I didn’t, it was all in my head. I had a mediocre job, that paid like shit, but I thought that because I had a shitty marriage that the universe “owed” me. It didn’t. I have been a less then, what you would call an upstanding citizen. Let me clarify, I didn’t break the law (unless you count stealing my ex-wife’s DirectTV password), but I have always been a judgemental asshole. I have always thought I was better than some people, even though I am clearly not. I have been a liar, I have been a cheater, and dishonest…basically, I’m a scumbag.

I don’t know why I am saying this but I feel like I have to get this off my chest. I need to try and right my ship, even if it is sinking. I am sorry to Krystal and to Adrea, you all know who you are. Looks like you made both made the right choice there.  I have said this to my friends that with the more professional success that I have, I have had personal success, It is time for that shit to change.

Part of my “shtick” with online dating was that I was “a comically bad dater”, This is true, I have had a multitude of bad dates.  While some of these are true, they may not be deserved.

I don’t believe in karma, I never have, but I do, for some reason, feel that there has been some sort of cloud hovering over me.

So….now that we are here, I have said sorry, I mean it so, where do we go from here?

Advertisements
Image

Thanks Snapchat, you have ruined online dating.

Oh Snapchat, how I loathe thee. Your fun photo sharing app, and it’s cute little filters have officially ruined online dating. How you ask? Well let me tell you. Continue reading

Image

Well…Isn’t this just typical.

I moved to Phoenix to try and start over, to better myself, to finally  grow up. I have a good paying job, you could say that professionally, things are going great. I work for the #1 Honors College in the Nation. I am considered “Senior Staff”, I still don’t quite know what that means but I will take it. But, with all this, I am fucking pissed.  Continue reading

Image

Well, things certainly have changed…

AS I get ready to head back to Pocatello for the first time in 3 months for my son’s graduation, I started thinking how in the hell did I end up here? The Valley of the Sun, Sun Devil Country, or the hottest place on earth.

There have been a lot of changes in my little life since my last post waaayyyy back in January of 2018. So while I have a little time I am going to try and recount the most interesting, difficult, challenging and fun 3 months of my life. So, let’s go back to January of 2018, shall we? This one is a little long so you better go take a shit or something to get through it all. Continue reading

Image

Wanna Hear Some Horrible Dating Stories?

So I know that I have totally been neglecting this site and I really should not be. I have had some crazy, funny, sad and amazing experiences since my last post on…….May 13th 2017 (GASP)!! So I am making an effort to resurrect this blog and talk to you all about all the stuff going on.

Now since this started out as a dating and relationship blog I wanted to ease you back into the pool with a post from my friends at the Chive and their “Worst Dates in the History of History” post. So enjoy and please stay tuned for my personal updates, COMING SOON….I PROMISE!!!!! 👍🏼

 

Image

Man, I Think I Fucked Up…

I have been living in my current hovel for about a year and a half now, and I am coming to the realization that I may have seriously fucked up. Let me explain:

So I was that guy, yes that guy who after his divorce moved into his parents basement. It is a story as old as time, guy gets cleaned out in his divorce (all too common) can’t afford to get a new place with all his bills, and ends up back in his old high school bedroom.  Maybe I overstayed with the parents, I am pretty sure that I did. Our relationship will never be the same. But that is not what this post is about.

So when I finally thought I had my shit together, and I thought I had a girlfriend who I maybe wanted to have some sexy time in my bed with, I decide to move out.  I finally found a place in an apartment complex, that met the expectations of the lady friend and my daughter. So I moved in.

It is a nice complex in a park like setting, at least that is what it says on the website. What do you think?

IMG_1644

They repaved the parking lot so nicely, only to have it ruined by my car leaking power steering fluid all over for 2 weeks!

Anywho, I settled in and within a few months I found myself single. I also found that my teenage daughter really hates me and hardly comes around. Soooo, here I am. In this place that I had hoped would be great and you know what it sucks! My neighbors suck, this is literally where dreams come to die.

Let me explain, so my building has 8 units in it, I have been here a year and a half and haven’t met anyone. Now mostly that is by choice. Right next door my neighbor is a senile old woman, who I believe has dementia. She sits outside feeding the rodents (squirrels) talking on her phone. When she ventures off on her bicycle, she comes back and leaves the damn thing right in front of the stairs, like i’m gonna fucking trip over the fucker in front of the stairs. This old bag has no concept of living with others as she yells all the time. She has yelled at me a couple of time to turn my TV down, for which I alway turn it up. Plus, she pounded on our shared wall durning my annual Wrestlemania party. NO ONE IS GOING TO WRECK MY WRESTLEMANIA PARTY!

IMG_1646

Look at all this shit! Still has Easter shit hanging up, in her defense, she hasn’t been around for like a month. I think she might be dead, but I can’t smell the body, yet!

Below me is some geriatric couple? I have never actually seen them, but judging by the Cadillac and deliveries of oxygen I am assuming they are pretty damn old, plus they have Chihuahua’s and those little ankle biters are annoying fuckers. The other lady directly below me is single?? I think, I am not sure, but damn she is a door slammer, I don’t know if she is pissed as my fat ass stomping around above her all the time or what but this woman does not know how gently shut a door.

On the other side of me upstairs, are some foreigners. I will not say what nationality but I am sure you can probably guess. I honestly have no idea how many of them actually live in the apartment. I have seen about 15 different people come and go from that place over the past year. All I know is that every once in a while they will play some weird ass music and have parties while they all smoke cigarettes on the balcony. And they cook weird smelling food, like Curry or Tabbouleh, or Falafel. (I may or may not have googled some of those foods)

Next to them is an older single guy with a son. When I see him it’s literally like looking into my future. I am not sure if he is older than me or not, he is bald, but his son is young, like 10 or something. I don’t know how long he has lived here, but he looks so depressed every time I see him. Like he just looks like his ex ripped his nuts off, fed them to him, dug them out of his shit and then stapled them back on, depressed.  He is a lot like me in that about a month ago he finally cleaned up the glob that was once a Halloween pumpkin off his balcony. I feel like living in this place for too long will slowly suck away a mans soul. I feel so sorry for him, but honestly, don’t want to be his friend. (I know I’m an asshole)

Below them are some Indians (dots, not feathers, hey, no one said this was an appropriate post or even blog). The woman sits outside doing laundry nearly every damn day and I think the man is like an engineer or doctor or something, aren’t they all?

Finally, in the bottom left apartment is a fairly attractive girl. I have no clue what her story is, she is hardly there, like gone 3-4 days a week. That leads me to believe that she has a boyfriend who doesn’t live in a depressing hell-hole. But she is weird too. When she is home, her lights are never on, like NEVER on. It’s like she goes in and goes straight to bed, or maybe shoots heroin. I don’t know.

I guess the point to my rambling is I don’t know if living here or with my parents is worse. They both suck, but man I just can’t tell. I had dreams that this would be cool, like lots of single people, underage chicks (over 18) needing someone to buy them beer, cool guys that I could get along with, have community BBQ’s, just fun cool things that I could be doing heading into my twilight years. NOPE! Instead, there are old ass people, foreigners, weirdos, some asshole who drives a giant truck  cock extension, a ton of young mormon couples, and me. This may be hell on earth, if not earth, at least hell in Pocatello.